Still not using my feeding tube!

My weight has been pretty stable since I stopped doing the overnight formula nutrition. As long as I focus on food and drink throughout the day, I can keep up. I’ve been told a year or so post-op, a lot of people can get down to about 3 meals a day. I’m doing it in a modified way….eat the first half with the family and just keep returning to work on a few more bites at a time until I’m happy with the portion I was able to eat.

Weakness does seem to help me define when I’m hungry. I’m certainly not always feeling as strong as before, but most of the time I do feel like my old self. My main incision where they removed my stomach feels sore, especially when I lay on my tummy. But that continues to fade, and most of the time I don’t really think about it. (half of my surgery was laproscopic and the 2nd half was fully open)

I even had some ice cream last night and it went really well. I’d say it was about 1/4-1/2 cup. Felt fine afterwards…was just watching a show on tv. So, if I’ve got ice cream, that should help my calories when I’m ready to think about running my half marathon in January!

I still “spit up” sometimes. It’s usually after the first bite when I try to forget I don’t have a stomach and just swallow without massive amounts of chewing. Again, it seems mostly like air gets trapped; everything’s fine after it passes and I just continue eating. Also I try to sit up for 30 min after eating or drinking. And the docs said to stay propped at least 30 degrees when sleeping because you’re an aspiration risk after surgery. Not sure I feel that way, but sounds like one risk they list.

Have a great night!


So the newborn baby analogy continues…

The whole goal with the feeding tube is to use it for nutrition when you leave the hospital, then slowly wean down the formula as you up your eating game. You start at 5 cans formula. I think a week after the hospital, I pulled it down to 4. Last week, I dropped it to 3 and then 2 the other day. I’ve been able actually gain weight on the 2 cans! So I made a management decision and didn’t use the feeding tube at all last night. That’s right folks, no intermittent humming of the pump going all night…just quiet.

Seem to be ok today. Seemed to be hungry when I woke up and ready for my yogurt. Kids are crazy today and the cleanliness of the house was beyond what my OCD limits would allow. And now the house is clean…huzzah! So, bagel and peanut butter were late, though I did well finishing my first 20 oz water bottle early. Was outside a bit this morning, and yesterday at 5, my car read 106 after driving, not even sitting in the sun. Yes, hydration thru the Texas summer…crazy. Makes you think this surgery is better done in the spring or fall when you won’t dehydrate and can actually do your walks outdoors…

So, my next appointment is Thursday. Maybe I can convince them to pull out the feeding tube if I can keep up my weight between now and Thursday. Game on!

My Food Diary

I’m building this blog in the hopes it can help other families going through this same experience. A friend’s surgery is tomorrow and when I got to talk with her, I realized my food log so far will help people understand what I’ve been able to eat post-op as each day progressed.

As for what I ate in the hospital… The first 4-5 days, I ate/drank nothing while the esophagus to small intestines connection healed. My IV kept me hydrated and my feeding tube was starting up to help me get nourishment. Then I was allowed to do liquids for 1-2 days. If it went well, it was onto a soft diet. The nurses were helpful and reminded me to just go slow and take it easy. Just start with sips. Clear liquids went well. I was pushing to go home Friday, but then my hydrocodone reaction happened. I stayed in the hospital because I felt horrible and hadn’t done much soft food to prove I’d be ok after I went home. Got my heart to heart with the surgeon about how he’d not want me to go home and get dehydrated and very sick, then have to go to the ER. I’m a stubborn gal, but I’m secretly smart enough to know he was right. And this surgery is so unfamiliar to doctors outside of these specialists, I wouldn’t be comfortable discussing complications at a local ER. So I made sure my soft breakfast and lunch went down well that Saturday morning before I was discharged. The nursing staff increases your feeding tube very slowly when you’re in the hospital, so those first days, you must be losing weight. The combination of my pre-surgery liquid diet day, my days without eating solids and my soft food day while my my feeding tube rate was amping up, I lost my 5 lbs.

Eating was all slowly uphill after that, minus my eggo morning and goldfish afternoon. Here’s my detailed log. Hope it’s helpful. I originally logged my liquid intake, but once I was able to do 3 large water bottles a day, I stopped logging liquid. I just check my pee…too yellow, focus more on hydration. To eat all the foods I listed below, just chew about 4 times longer than you think is necessary. My problem is usually on the first bite when I’m excited about a tasty food and forget to chew, chew, chew… And just know most food takes me a while to eat.

Food Diary

6/15 – after left hospital
5 cans
6oz water
12oz vitamin water
Piece of garlic bread
3pm – 20 ml ibuprofen
8pm – 20 ml ibuprofen
9pm – 1/2 cup of spaghetti with meat sauce

5 cans
1 scrambled egg. Ate too fast. Hurt going down
1 cup vanilla yogurt. Maybe too much sugar, not fake sugar kind
1/2 pbj sandwich
Some fritos
1/2 pbj sandwich
3/4 cup jambalaya (took forever)
3 bites ice cream sandwich

5 cans
Breakfast bar
2 slices cinnamon toast
Spaghetti with meat sauce
20 oz water and a 12 oz G2

5 cans
Breakfast bar
Greek yogurt with strawberry stuff
Spaghetti with meat sauce
Half bowl honey nut Cheerios with almond milk (too much sugar. Felt a bit off afterwards)
20 oz water bottle
12 oz vitamin water

5 cans
1 slice cinnamon toast biscuit/ham/eggs empanada
Cup shredded chicken and turkey sausage jambalaya
12 oz water
20 oz Gatorade
Pork loin, mashed potatoes, green beans
More water

5 cans
Breakfast bar
Bite of banana
Some coffee
20 oz Gatorade
Snack bag of cheez its
Half bowl la Madeleine tomato basil soup
Half slice bread with jam
Remaining bowl of soup
2 half slices bread
6 grapes (spit out skins)
Half slice of cantaloupe

118 lbs
5 cans
Empanada (1 biscuit with egg &ham)
Cup and 1/2 coffee
Half large banana
Snack bag of cheez its
2 oz Pork loin
1/2 cup mashed potatoes
1/2 banana
2-3 oz chicken fried steak
1/2 cup mashed potatoes
3/4 yeast roll
1/4 cup peas
1/4 cup banana pudding
20 oz Gatorade g2
18 oz water

117.4 lbs
Biscuit empanada with egg/ham
1 strawberry
1/2 slice cantaloupe
1/2 double Dave’s pizza slice
3 bites vanilla cake
28 oz water
20 oz vitamin water (no calories)
1 baked chicken strip
1/2 cup peas
1/2 cup Mac & cheese
1 cheese slice

5 cans
1 bacon slice
1 eggo with 1 tbsp peanut butter
1 cup coffee
2 oz baked chicken w/ sour cream/spice/breadcrumb breading
1 cup baked beans
1/2 baked potatoe with 1 tbsp margarine
1 peanut butter cookie with Reese’s pieces
1/2 cup goldfish
40 oz water
Grilled cheese (one slice) with 2 tbsp butter

5 cans
1 eggo with 2 tbsp peanut butter (sugar crash, yuck)
1 slice pumpernickel bread with 1 tbsp butter
1 cup spaghetti with meat sauce
1 cup chicken noodle soup
1/2 cup cheez its
28 oz water
20 oz Gatorade g2
1/2 chocolate chip cookie
Tried bite of chicken patty (threw it up)
Tried chicken kabob with rice (also got stuck & threw up)
1/2 cup oatmeal success

120 lbs
4 cans
Breakfast bar
3/4 cup oatmeal
20 oz g2
20 oz water
1/4 cup goldfish (felt like puking)
1-2 oz baked chicken ( nausea..not enough protein? Dehydrated?)
1 bread roll
1 oatmeal raisin cookie from Zoe’s
1/2 cup spaghettios

119 lbs
4 cans
2 mini sausage biscuits
1/2 cup coffee
3 bites banana
1/4 slice bread with 1 tsp cream cheese
1 small avocado
2 slices toast with 1 tbsp margarine
8 oz almond milk with 1 scoop protein powder (GNC wheybolic)
12 oz g2
20 oz water
1/2 hot dog with bun
1/2 cup cheez-its

118 lbs
4 cans
I egg/biscuit/ham empanada
8 oz almond milk with 1 scoop GNC wheybolic protein
HEB butter tortilla
1 lg banana
12 oz Gatorade g2 grape
40 oz water
1 cheese pizza slice
1/2 proasis protein shot
1 cup bean and chicken chili
1/4 cornbread muffin
1 Oreo

117.8 lbs (hydration from heat?)
4 cans
1 empanada
2 oz almond & 6 oz 2% milk with 1 scoop protein powder
1 HEB tortilla
1 cup chicken noodle soup
40-60 oz water
1/4 cup cheez its
1/2 hot dog with bun
1/4 avocado
Few bites meatloaf and mashed potatoes (meatloaf gross. Too hard to chew down. Found adding hummus as a binder with each bite fixes that yucky texture.)
6 oz grape g2 Gatorade

119ish (late weigh after food)
4 cans
3 bites cinnamon roll
2 slices cinnamon toast with 1 tbsp smart balance
Almond milk protein shake
3/4 pizza slice
1/2 cup mashed potatoes
Almond milk protein shake
2-3 oz chicken
1/2 oz fish
1 new potatoe
1/2 role with 1 tbsp butter
3 bites cake
40 oz water? (1 20 oz bottle & 1 glass at wedding)
10 oz Gatorade g2
Wedding, bday party & very hot out

117.2 (seem dehydrated)
4 cans
1 egg scrambled
1 piece bacon
1/2 tortilla
1 1/2almond milk protein shake
1/2 cup bean chili and some chicken
40+ oz water?
6 peanut butter crackers
3 oz smoked chicken with a little cornbread stuffing
4 oz yoplait Greek yogurt strawberry

116.8 lbs
4 cans
1 slice bacon
2 slices cinnamon toast
1 protein shake with almond milk
1 large banana
1 package (6) peanut butter crackers (my new staple. Easy to eat. 180 calories)
1/2 cup chicken/bean chili
3 oz salmon
2 tbsp hummus
Some cous cous
1 chocolate chip cookie
3 bites cupcake
1 serving cheez its with 2-3 tbsp hummus

Forgot to weigh. At night 118
4 cans
Protein shake with whole lactose free milk
1/4 cup cous cous with 2 tbsp basil hummus & 2 oz ground hamburger
Peanut butter & jelly sandwich
1 oz chicken
3 bites cupcake
1 yeast roll
1 cheese slice

4 cans
8 oz whole milk with 1 protein scoop
Cous cous with 2 tbsp basil hummus with 2 oz taco meat
6 peanut butter crackers
40 oz water.
6-10 oz Gatorade
7-8 chips with salsa
3 oz of chicken enchilada
1 oz margarita 😉
2 small yeast rolls

4 cans
2 slices cinnamon toast with 1 tbsp smart balance
8 oz while milk with 1 scoop protein
30 oz water
1/2 cup coffee
2 peanut butter crackers
5 wheat thins with 2 tsp cream cheese
1 oz pork chop
1/2 cup Mac & cheese
2 peanut butter crackers
20 oz water
1/3 coke zero
1/2 grilled cheese sandwich with 1 tbsp butter

2 baby sausage rolls
1/2 glazed donut
2 oz rotisserie chicken with 2 tbsp basil hummus and 1/4 cup large cous cous
20 oz water
1/2 thick tortilla
4 chick fil a nuggets
1/4 chick fil a fries
8 oz chick fil a diet lemonade

4 cans
1 pillsbury cinnamon roll
1 Greek light & fit yogurt
1 tortilla
8 oz protein shake with almond milk
3/4 grilled cheese sandwich with 1 slice velveeta and 2 tsp butter
4 tortilla chips with 1 tbsp guac
1/4 cup mix of Oreo,cream cheese & cool whip
1 small sausage ball in sauce
1 shrimp
4 saltine crackers (grazing at MIL house, hence the random bites of food. Very conducive to stomachless peeps)
5 ritz crackers
4 fish sticks
1/4 cup fiesta beans
1/4 doughnut
50 oz water
1/2 coke zero

4 cans
Greek light & fit
2 slices cinnamon toast with smart balance
3/4 of bun length hot dog with bun. 1/5 large mango
3 peanut butter crackers
1/4 cup cheez-its
1 pulled pork slider with 2 oz pork and 5 pickles

5 Weeks Post Op

Still going well. Have my next follow-up tomorrow morning with the doctor. Hopefully everything goes smoothly. After as well as dropping to 3 cans in the feeding tube went yesterday, I bet I can go down to 2 cans safely to maintain my weight. We’ll see what the dietician says.

I was able to walk a known distance today… A little over a mile. It’s hot. At 9:30 am, it’s 95 and humid. Able to walk with my water and keep up my hydration. Just focusing on protein with some substantial carbs in my meals and it’s going well.

I did an afternoon shake with vitamin D milk and I must say that stuff upsets my gut and is far too dense. When I did 2 almond milk protein shakes in a day, I started getting itchy skin…too much almond must be just too much. So, I think I’ll stick with 1 almond milk protein shake a day and call it good.

I’m liking this yogurt and bagel with peanut butter breakfast also. I can do the yogurt early and then take the bagel with peanut butter along with me when I take the kiddos to school. I focus on water before and after. Seems to help! (For perspective, the whole breakfast ‘process’ takes over an hour.)

And now that I dropped a tube feed can, I think I’m hungry in the morning and more motivated to eat. The morning has been the hardest to motivate myself to eat. I’ve just felt “off”. But I’m thinking that’s just because I’m not at full hydration. (Yes, still unable to identify exactly what hunger is/feels like post total gastrectomy.)

Off to sleep now, goodnight.

The Happening – Then vs Now

What do you do when you feel perfectly healthy and it’s the night before you are scheduled to go to the hospital to have surgeons cut out your stomach? For me and my husband, you avoid going to sleep as long as possible. And when there’s a creepy M Night Shamylan movie on tv, you lay there and watch it. The good thing is that movie was so creepy and good, it was the perfect distraction from my impending reality. By the time the movie finished at 2 AM, we were so exhausted, we fell right asleep. (perfect)

Movies are like music. Watching one or listening to one can bring you back to a place and time. So, The Happening came on FX yesterday and I couldn’t help but keep it on. I was sitting there thinking it was crazy before surgery with all the fear and unknown and stress, like a dark cloud hanging over our heads.

Jump forward to ‘The Now’. This whole thing hasn’t been so bad. I don’t know why I’m recovering so well, and I do believe other people have many more struggles than me with recovery. But for me, it’s been pretty good. I’m certainly not full strength, but everyday I can eat a bit more and I heal and become stronger. I’m getting more energy to play with my kids and keep up with my OCD habits. (Cue hubbie comment: “Uh oh, mom must be starting to feel better if she’s doing laundry.”) Don’t get me wrong, the hospital part isn’t pleasant, but just like my c-section recoveries your memory of the pain fades. (I believe hospital staff mentioned some of the drugs reduce your recollection.) This time around watching the movie, I was taking it easy, surfing the web and enjoying life…no more dark cloud.

My fellow gastrectomy friend Aimee has been giving me tips and advice and answering my questions. Before my surgery, she said, “I’d rather be on this side of the surgery than yours.” After my surgery, another friend told me I looked relieved. I’d have to agree. So, that’s my before and after comparison.

Onto specific food stuff. Here’s what I was able to eat today, very slowly. It doesn’t look like much, but it’s a real effort now.
Dannon Greek Light & Fit Yogurt
1/2 Thoms cinnamon raisin bagel with peanut butter
1 whole turkey & cheese sandwich with a basil hummus spread
1 8 oz almond milk with a scoop of GNC Wheybolic vanilla protein powder
4 peanut butter crackers
1 Whataburger jr hamburger
Some mango & blueberries (desperate again for fruit and spitting out the skins)
1/2 large banana
Spoonful of some crazy oreo/cream cheese/cool whip dessert from my mother-in-law

I try not to mix drinking with eating, like the dietician recommends. My liquids have really improved and I’ve been focusing a lot on them since we were out in the heat today.
63 oz water (trying to finish now)
1 12 oz coke zero
4 oz Gatorade g2

To note, I’ve always been lactose sensitive, so I’ve played around with almond, lactose free (read…regular milk with the lactose enzyme added) and soy milk for a long time. So milk alternatives aren’t a change for me for my protein shakes. And I do the light & fit yogurts and g2 Gatorade in order to stay away from sugars. I’m not sure what my tolerance is exactly for sugar, but life requires moderation, and now my body is quickly reminding me if I mess up. After my eggo incident and feeling a bit off after some foods, I’d rather not push it.

Given how well my calorie intake is going, the dietician recommended I try dropping one can off my nightly tube feeding. We’ll see how good my morning weight is. I’ve stayed stable to the pound every morning lately with 4 cans plus my oral intake. Yes, throw something at me, hate me…I have a high metabolism. Though, I have been walking, so I deserve some credit for that. Every can is 285 calories. If I drop one, I hope I can make it up.

Well, off to sleep for me. Goodnight.

Does This Feeding Tube Make Me Look Fat?

I just thought that title was funny. I’m now 4 weeks and 1 day post-op. I definitely feel stronger everyday. I usually crash pretty hard for an afternoon nap with the kiddos and that helps. Still haven’t been sleeping overly well at night.

So far, I only really had a few throw up issues a while back. It hasn’t really happened since. Other than that, when food gets stuck going down, it’s usually because I forgot for a second and didn’t chew up my food to a mush. It’s almost like the theory with a newborn baby when you burp them. It’s like air gets trapped below the food. When that happens, I kind of spit up food. Not puke, just spit up. The newborn baby analogy continues. I also have to be fed every few hours, just like a baby. I’m going to have too much fun with this one.

Still for me no nausea since the one bad day. Occasionally after something sugary with no protein to balance, I just feel cruddy afterwards. Other than that, I’m just trying to consume more daily food and water. Broke down and have finally had some coke zero…just craving a soda. Don’t know carbonation is considered great, but it kinda went well for me. The only question I have post gastrectomy is what are the absorption levels. Caffeine seems to hit faster. Also when I take the pill form of ibuprofen, does it fully absorb and does it absorb at the same speeds. All good questions for my follow up next Thursday.

Other items I can think of…I burp and hiccup a lot post surgery. Hiccuping is obnoxious. Burping isn’t like 9 year old boy belching and laughing; it’s more like quiet, held-in burping nobody would really notice. Makes me wonder if air gets trapped more easily when you’re not very far out from surgery. Fingers crossed it goes away.

I have been reading other blogs about other people’s post-op issues. The big one is “dumping syndrome”. If you’ve not heard about it, think diarrhea and sweats. I haven’t had this yet. (Now that I write this, it’ll probably happen tomorrow because that’s how Murphy’s law works.)

So I just need to keep focusing on calories in, protein, walking, and rest. Hope to sleep tonight. Today was napless. Goodnight.

Eating Food

I hate counting calories. Counting calories to me puts some horrible science around something I’ve always just done. My parents engrained good eating habits in me from a young age. Sure, I read the nutrition labels and try to make sensible decisions. But mostly my favorite meal at my desk at work is some awesome marinated skinless chicken breast with some jasmine rice and something sweet for dessert. I tried to only eat when hungry and listen to my body. During my pregnancies I gain 40-45 lbs (it was crazy, but with my low BMI my doc was good with it)! And I lost it afterwards with my marathoning. It all taught me to listen to my body.

Now, I can’t understand what my body is trying to tell me. I do know I get dizzy from being tired and dehydrated. But I think hunger is somewhat replaced by an empty feeling. The trouble is, by the time I get that feeling, it takes me too long to eat to catch up. This whole gastrectomy thing is the polar opposite right now of being healthy. Instead of listening, you have to be proactive and count calories…a whole science thing. Everyone else in this world is trying to gain weight and so they’re told to drink a glass of water before eating; I’m told not to drink 30-60 min before eating. I’m not sure how the numbers work out if I do that and eat 5 small meals a day. Other advice I’ve gotten is I’m going to have to eat calorie dense foods if I’m going to orally get up to my calorie needs without the feeding tube crutch. Bacon has been going well and yes you need fat to live, but this can’t be a good trend. Sadly, I agree that at least it’s calories.

I guess the saddest thing right now is my love of fruit. My post morning run food has always been a cinnamon bagel with peanut butter and a banana. Right now, I can eat half a banana at a time pretty well. And I used to snack on fruits all the time…mangos, strawberries, blueberries. And my OCD fruit of choice, grapes. My husband said it’s uncanny how I could sit there, staring off in thought and just methodically pick off grapes. My children too have acquired their love of grapes. I’m sure that as time goes on, I’ll be allowed grapes with the skin on (I’ve actually resorted to eating the grape and spitting the skin out in the sink. Yes, I’m that desperate.) For now though, I was told nothing with seeds or skins, etc.

That’s my sob story for the night. I just miss my cancerous stomach signaling my brain, “Hey dummy, don’t forget to eat now.” For now, I eat teeny tiny meals and feel as though I just finished a Thanksgiving meal. It takes me forever to eat; this is unchanged from before my gastrectomy, but the length of “forever” has extended to a lot of finishing meals on couches.

I have to say that walking does help. It was 82 this morning and it felt nice to walk the neighborhood instead of having to go to the mall to walk (like all the cool people). It’s sad that after 108 heat, the 80s at 8:45 AM feels pretty good. Guess that’s how you know it’s summertime in the gulf coast.

Though, this blog isn’t meant to be a pity party. And I know not everyday is going to great, but I can admit I’d like to eat a big meal and feel like I knew my body had full energy and was fully hydrated. Maybe I should remember this is 4 weeks post op. Goodnight.

Our Decision

Unlike cancer patients who feel sick, find out they have cancer and quickly roll into a whirlwind of treatments, genetic testing is a whole other world. For us, coming to this decision was a multiple year process. There was one cancelled genetic counseling consult 4 years ago. There had been many nights googling CDH1 and linitisplastica. So my blog is a bit backwards, but here’s the road we took to genetic testing, a positive result & a prophylactic (fancy medical term for preventive) total gastrectomy (fancy medical term for cut out entire stomach).

At 16, I lost my dad to stomach cancer after a 3 year brave battle against it (He was 53). When he was diagnosed (after symptoms of being tired all the time and finding out he had low iron counts), he came back stage 4. He was given a year to live. He beat his numbers and lived 3 years. He passed away about a year after his cousin had passed away of the same thing. His mom, my grandmother, died of the same thing when I was 3 (she was 69). And then in 2009, my aunt died of complications related to the same stomach cancer (She was about 55).

My aunt is the one who told us about the gene, gave me the referral and had written us a note about specifically which nucleotide to test for our mutation. I was still in my 20s and had only had our first baby. Add here the cancelled genetic counseling appointment. Add another several years of on and off discussions about the gene. Since my family history didn’t seem to have a stage 4 onset until 50s, it’s a gamble that I’d be ok. But my aunt would always point out we had a great aunt who died of stomach cancer at 31. She was the wildcard. Plus, I’m healthy and in good shape from marathon running. You think it should count for something (apparently not much).

I just finally decided I was ready in November of 2012. We had our second kiddo, and I just wanted to get this over with. My overly rational husband’s comment, “If I were you, I’d do the testing. If it came back positive, I’d take care of it and be done with this whole thing.” (You can tell, we’ve talked about this a lot over the years.) I was told as a female, the stats are 79% chance of cancer with average onset from 31-38. Ok, let’s do this. So after New Years (even though I was hopeful I wouldn’t have it), my results were positive. Well, &$;!,@.

So for 6 years previous and 5 marathons, I’d always had a goal time of 3:30. Never did it for 4 marathons… times were 3:32, 3:36, 3:34 & 3:34. Cruel, I know. Maybe I’ve become an experienced runner, maybe it’s because I ran with a buddy the first half, maybe it was the cold weather or maybe it was that I knew it might be my last shot to PR. Whatever it was, in Jan 2013, I ran the Houston marathon in the cold rain with all negative splits (read…every 5k split was even to or faster then the previous one) and absolutely crushed my goal time. I finished in 3:21. I had no clue how I was doing because my phone malfunctioned at the start & I was afraid like so many other marathons when you feel like you’re really keeping pace, you’re actually slowing down. I will never forget being 3 miles from the finish and seeing the clock and realizing I was actually going to do it! So if my marathon speed slows down post gastrectomy, at least I know I crushed my goal time once and for all. 🙂

After that, it was time to schedule surgery. It started out in April. Squeeze in work stuff; squeeze in a vacation and eat. It got delayed because the surgeon had a conflict. Now it was set for May. Delay was hard, but it actually gave me time to do all the things I wanted to do beforehand. Then the week of the surgery (and more of an emotional mess everyday), boom….sinus infection. Surgery delayed another 2 weeks. And that’ll where my blog had started. I was a little stress ball.

So, that’s how I got here. I’m not as sick as we had prepared for. Calories are definitely going to be my issue because I don’t have the weight to lose. Today was a good day. Tired with a long nap, but generally felt good. Hope tomorrow goes well also.

3 Weeks Post Op

So far, I’ve really only had 2 bad days of feeling crummy with nausea. But the protein theory is working to combat that. I still don’t think I’m able to eat enough during the day to drop from 4 cans on my feeding tube down to 3 cans. And I’m eating to the point where I feel overly full each time. Eating a last meal before bed hadn’t gone well until tonight. Was able to eat a 6-pack of peanut butter crackers.

My j-tube is probably the most painful thing and *gross alert* it oozes. But that’s to be expected. I also popped a stitch of two on the video camera incision underneath my belly button. Got a note out to the PA is I should do anything. It’s oozing and a slight gap, but it doesn’t look red or infected.

I get short feelings of nausea like tonight for a few minutes, but it seems to be solved with walking. I was able to walk after putting the kids to bed and it always seems to make me feel better. The only trouble is yesterday the temp was 107. Today wasn’t quite as hot, but at 9:30 at night our garage temp was 94. And because of this heat, I feel like I’m having trouble staying truly hydrated. I’m careful swallowing water, so it just takes forever.

I didn’t take any pain meds, but I think I’ll try oral ibuprofen tomorrow to see if it helps me from feeling my big incision. Nothing I couldn’t live without, but the anti-inflammatory aspect gives me comfort.

I’ll do an actual calorie count someday and see what I’m taking in. 4 cans is 1140 calories at night plus my daily input and my weight is staying basically flat. Ugh, how will I eat more?

Well, I’m tired, so goodnight.