It’s like a Rollercoaster

So last night, in a feeble attempt to get in my final calories for the day, I was able to put down an entire cup of Cheerios with a cup of whole milk. Afterwards, I was surprised how quickly I was able to eat it all…the whole bowl in one sitting without soggy Cheerios. Afterwards, my mouth starts watering like just before you throw up. I was sitting there hoping it wouldn’t come up because that kind of negates all my hard work eating that bowl! Luckily it passed and my work wasn’t lost.

I find it hardest to eat in the morning. The simple answer might be that I’m not a morning person. Who knows… By the time I get myself and the kiddos ready, I’ve lost an hour of time. I try to use that time for water, but who knows. The morning is also that moment of trepidation before I step on the scale….did I lose weight yesterday? If I were to lose as many pounds as some folks I’ve talked to, I’d end up below 100. That would just be bad… Let’s call that my motivation.

Circle back to this evening. I ate a lot of peanuts today. 1 oz = 170 calories. Small volume, high calories. Maybe that extra protein kick helped. I certainly feel weak/crappy when I haven’t gotten enough food in. I played with the kids, then went biking with them in the trailer. They weigh a lot, so it was quite the effort. Just hope that doesn’t eat into my calories too bad, but it felt great to get the leg muscles crunching and the cardio up. I can’t chug water, but I made a valiant attempt afterwards. I also felt great afterwards; reminds me exactly why I’m a runner! Spent the rest of tonight eating and drinking water.

I do have some negative moments. Like in the cafe this weekend, knowing my body is starving and trying really hard to eat a good quantity. It’s taking all my energy, and beside me is a big lady inhaling a massive plateful of meat and sides. That was my “Really? Why me?” moment.

Shaking the thought off. There’s a reason for this. It’s actually not that bad. But I think everyone post gastrectomy must have their moments. I think you just have to keep trying over and over again with every meal and not let it get you down. I might have more failures now with food not staying down, but as times moves on, those failures should be fewer and fewer.

Have a good evening.

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