Reality comes around twice

I amaze myself at my ability to ignore things. My extra two weeks of consuming lots of extra calories is almost over. I amazingly put it to the back of my mind until I thought about it a little today. Last weekend of overindulging in food for a while! Before my surgery, I think I will have eaten an entire 1/2 gallon of Blue Bell Cookies n Cream and that’s pretty rockin! I just chisel away at it one bowl a night. 😉

Even with all my eating, I struggle to gain weight. I’ve been eating what I consider a lot and don’t gain much. I think I’m up 5-6 lbs in total. Pretty much get no sympathy from anyone when I mention that…more like dirty looks and rolling eyes. We’ll see what happens at my final weigh-in since I have to be on an all liquid diet Thursday before my surgery. I’m betting I’ll lose on that day pretty badly. The good thing is in my early post-surgery recovery phase, you get to go home with the feeding tube in. It’ll be comforting to know if eating food orally doesn’t go so well at the start, I’ve got a fail safe to keep my weight up. They don’t remove it until you stop using it for 2 weeks.

I am constantly reminded that for as hard as this recovery might seem, it’s all for the better. Long term, I have life without fear of stomach cancer. I will sit at my children’s high school and college graduations and see them get married. I will be part of my kids’ adult lives, maybe have grand kids…all opportunities my own dad didn’t have. And I’m young and healthy (minus sinus infections, apparently!) so I will recover well. My husband and I will get to grow old together.

Now I just hope I’ve gotten everything ready at work and at home. And I hope my kids don’t cry when I tell them I can’t pick them up for a long while. We’ll see how they do.

That ends my random thoughts from today. One last one…kinda glad I’m having the surgery when it’s about to hit 100 degrees here. At least I know if I’m inside I’m not missing some perfect weather day. 🙂

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